New Years Kiss
by UmbraAurumDragon
Summary: The members of the Sunny are cursed. At twelve o'clock on New Years Eve, they will have to kiss whoever is closest to them. Who will be the odd one out? And who will get to kiss the girls? (Humor based, no intended romance)


**(A/N) Happy New Year!**

 **This is a New Year's Eve One Shot. Set at no time in particular, anywhere in between when Brook joins and current cannon.**

 **Sorry it's out later then I said it would be on my profile, things just kept popping up to delay it.**

 **I hope you enjoy!**

 **Beta'd: By the wonderful Aliahra and the amazing Haruhanabishi. (Their stories are spectacular!)**

 **Disclaimer: I do not own One Piece.**

 **Happy Birthday to Oda and Ace as well!**

* * *

 **New Year's Kiss**

Nami rummaged around the treasure chest.

"Useless. Useless. Ehhhh pretty expensive. Useless. Useless. Fake. Rusted." As she said each word she throw something from the chest into respective piles of useless junk, stuff she can keep and stuff she could sell. She let out a sigh as she looked at the small keep and sell piles.

"There is nothing in here!" she said with a frustrated groan.

She continued to pull out bits of odds and ends until she came across something interesting. She scrutinized the object. It was a long thin golden arrow, inlaid with red gems on the tip and beautiful red feathers at the end. Little diamonds ran up and down the length of it as well.

"Oooooh." She said looking at the object. Her pupils went double the size and her mouth was almost watering. It was a bit dusty, but with a little clean she could sell it for so much, she thought with a delighted giggle. She picked the object up and held it close to her eyes. She noticed a little scroll tied to the end. She untied it and read.

 _'Beware, as though it is a sight to behold, Cupids arrow isn't simple silver and gold. For in it resides a powerful curse, that will place your lips on whoever is first. But take head it will occur on New Years night and unless you return it, it shall continue it's plight.'_

"Ha, that's ridiculous!" Nami said scrunching up the paper and putting it in her pocket. She placed the item in her room to sell to the next pawn broker they came across.

* * *

"Naaaaaammmmmiiiiii! It's New Year's Eve tonight!" Luffy said jumping up and down on top of her recently sleeping form.

"Go away!" She screeched, before pulling the covers over her head and trying to go back to sleep. She managed to hear a scramble of feet and a: "Roooobbbbiiiiiiinnnn its New Year's Eve tonight." Before she fell back to sleep.

Nami awoke to the smell of roasting meat and potatoes. She breathed in the delightful scent. She couldn't wait for the party tonight. They even had fireworks. She stretched and jumped out of bed, she cleaned and dressed and walked into the kitchen, to see the typical idiotic scene that normally awaited her every morning. Zoro and Sanji were arguing, Luffy was yelling for food and Brook was playing some new song. She sat next to the only normal one, Robin, and looked at the new arrow-shaped brooch she had on her shirt.

"That brooch reminds me of something Robin."

"It does?"

"Yeah, a few months ago I found a golden arrow in a treasure chest."

"Sounds interesting." Robin said taking a bite of her breakfast.

"It had the most ridiculous message tied to it. Something about a kissing curse."

Robin tilted her head. "Nami, that sounds like cupids arrow."

"Yeah, I think that's what it was called! Ridiculous isn't it?"

Robin frowned. "The man with the cupid cupid fruit cursed that arrow. You didn't take it did you?"

Nami froze. "Wait! It actually does have a curse?!"

"Yes, it starts at the next new year. All those involved in its theft will have to kiss the closest person on New Year's night and every night following."

Nami froze. "But we- we- we all stole that chest."

"Looks like we're going to have an interesting new year's."

"Oh no..."

"Nami-chwaaaaaan! I couldn't help but overhear. I'll be your kiss." Sanji said puckering his lips.

"Like hell!" She yelled out backing away. "I'm not kissing anyone!"

"Nami I'll give you a kiss too! Yohohohoho."

"No. No, no, no, no!" She screamed running away.

Brook and Sanji chased behind her.

"Stupid love cook," Zoro said standing up. "I'll be in the crow's nest at midnight. Nobody better come up there."

Robin chuckled before taking out a book. Chopper joined her a half hour later for breakfast.

* * *

"What are you doing?" Franky asked.

"I'm looking for Nami-chwaaaaaan! At twelve o'clock tonight whoever is closest to her will get a kiss!" Sanji said twirling about.

"Sounds Suuuupppppeeeerrr! But why just Nami?"

"Oh, it's not just Nami. It's everyone."

"Huh?"

"Everyone will kiss someone tonight. Which is why I'm staying close to Nami-chwan, I don't want to kiss anyone else. Except maybe Robin-swan." He said as his nose started bleeding.

"But there are seven boys and two girls...?"

"Exactly!"

"Oh no."

"And I'm going to be the odd one out." Zoro said from the other side of the deck, whilst lifting his weights.

"Whatever just stay out of the way, Marimo!" Sanji said with a snarl.

"Well I'm out of here," Franky said heading below deck. "I'm getting off this ship on the sub."

Sanji froze. "I bet Nami's thinking the same thing!" Sanji rushed below deck in front of Franky.

"I'll change all of the times on the clocks of all our smaller vehicles." Sanji said going to each one.

He turned to look at the Waver, that's the one she's most likely to take, he thought to himself.

"Yo! What are you doing?" Franky asked, walking in.

"Making sure my Nami Swan can't escape." Sanji replied.

"Whoa, whoa, whoa! Let me escape on the Shark Submerge Three and I'll help you lock up the Waver and the Mini Merry?"

"Deal!"

* * *

"I've got to get out of here!" Nami yelled running away from Brook. "I know, I'll take the Waver!" She sprinted downstairs to see.

"What!" The submarine was gone and the Mini Merry and the Waver were all locked up.

"Darn it!" She yelled back running back towards the door.

"Nami! Where are you going? Don't you want to kiss my lips? Well except, I don't have any lips! Yohohohoho!"

BAM!

Nami hit Brook over the head with her Clima-Tact and ran off towards the kitchen. Maybe she could hide in the freezer. She ran in and slammed the door shut behind her. She took a second to catch her breath.

"What a relief! Finally safe!" She said breathing heavily in the dark room.

Suddenly she heard the scratching sound of a match lighting. She slowly turned around to see Sanji lighting a cigarette.

"So we're finally alone, my sweet Nami-chwan?"

"LEAVE ME ALONE!" She screeched whacking him over the head.

She ran out of the door.

"Oh my sweet Nami, even your hits feel soft. I swear I'll save your lips." Sanji said slowly walking out.

* * *

"Hey Chopper, Robin! Where is everyone?" Luffy said.

"I think Franky went on a little solo expedition, Usopp is working on something in his room, Zoro is exercising outside and I think Sanji and Brook are playing chase with Nami." Robin said.

"But Sanji should be making me lunch!"

"You only had breakfast a few hours ago!"

"But I'm hungry again!"

"You tell Sanji that." She chuckled.

* * *

"Sanji! I'm hungry!" Luffy said to a frantic Sanji and Brook looking around.

"Not now Luffy!" He called back.

"Are you guys playing hide and seek or something? Can I play too?"

"No!"

"Actually you can Luffy," Brook said. "Can you help us find Nami?"

"She's hiding in the infirmary." He said tilting his head.

Sanji perked up and smirked. "Thanks Luffy! I'll make you a feast tonight, I promise!"

Luffy shrugged and left talk to someone else.

* * *

"Let! Me! Go!" Nami yelled out.

"It's for your own good Nami!" Brook said tying up the last knot.

"Yes! I don't want my precious Nami Swan's lips tainted by some idiot on this ship."

"You're some idiot on this ship!" She said trying to struggle out of her bonds. The idiots had tied her to the mast. How dare they!

"Don't worry, you'll still be part of the festivities tonight!" Brook said.

"I'll take first watch." Sanji said.

"No, you go cook for the feast! I'll look after her." Brook said with a blush.

Sanji growled but headed below deck to start cooking.

* * *

"Thanks for the food Sanji!" Luffy said in a tired slur.

"Yes it was quite delicious!" Robin smiled.

"Why don't you all sleep off your meal and I'll wake you all up before midnight." Sanji lied.

"Sounds great!" Luffy said jumping up and laying out on the Sunny's figurehead.

The others followed suit but went down stairs instead. Except for Brook, Sanji, Nami and Zoro.

"I'm going into the crow's nest. No one bother me till after midnight." Zoro said with a huff.

"Now we sit and wait." Brook said sitting across from Nami.

"Like hell! You're going downstairs with the others!" Sanji growled.

"But I want to kiss Nami!" He replied.

"I'm going to!"

Nami decided to take this opportunity to escape. She cut the rope and quietly sneaked away. Whilst doing so, she accidently ripped her jeans on the webbing leading up to the crow's nest. She shrugged and went below deck.

* * *

"I'm older and more mature so I should get the kiss!"

"You don't even have lips!"

"So?"

"Hey. Wait a second! Where did my Nami-chwan go?" Sanji said frantically looking around.

"I'll look below deck!" Brook said running off.

"Hurry only two minutes till midnight!" Sanji replied. He was about to run off, when he noticed a bit of fabric snagged to the net leading to the top of the mast. He smiled and began to climb up.

* * *

"Uh, I just had to lose my speedos didn't I?" Franky sighed heading back to the sunny. The Submarines internal clock read quarter past midnight. So he deemed it safe enough to return. Of course he had to snag his speedos on the submarines side when he was climbing out. He went and grabbed a piece of metal to hide his tool kit, and ran upstairs so he could get his spare pair.

That's when he ran into Brook.

"Oh Franky! Have you seen Nami?"

"No, why?"

"We're still looking for her."

"But- but! The clock in the Sub! It said!"

"Oh no!"

Suddenly the pair of them felt a force begin to pull them together.

"Oh no!" Franky cried, grabbing onto the stairs railing. "This is not super! Definitely not super!"

The force lifted up his body and he was now gripping onto the railing for dear life.

"YOHOHOHOHO!" Brook yelled out heading straight for Franky.

Smack!

"Get your bony lips off my butt Brook! They're cold!"

"I'm sorry Franky!" He yelled running off to the bathroom. Followed by the distinct sound of vomiting. In addition to the sounds of screams from the other members of the crew.

* * *

Nami shut her cabin door behind her. Maybe now she was finally safe. She locked the door and fell to the floor with a sigh.

"Nami?"

"Usopp? WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN MY ROOM!"

"I was looking for you so I could make some adjustments to your Clima- Tact?"

Nami screeched and fiddled with the door. No! The lock was stuck!

She suddenly felt a strong pull on her body; she held onto the doorknob and screamed for help.

Usopp held onto her bedhead and screamed too. "What's going on!?"

"It's a stupid curse! Just don't let go or I'll make sure you regret it!"

As the seconds passed the pull got stronger and stronger until Nami couldn't hold on any longer. Her fingers slipped and she headed straight towards Usopp, whose fingers had also slipped.

Their lips connected for a brief second before they both fell back.

"USOPP! MY EYE! YOU'VE POKED OUT MY EYE WITH YOUR NOSE!"

Usopp after getting over his horror, rubbed the tip of his nose. "Now don't be drastic," he said walking over to her. "It's just a bit bruised."

"Get Chopper!" She screamed. "And a bucket! I'm going to be sick."

* * *

Sanji climbed up the net to the crow's nest. Like hell would he let Zoro kiss his precious Nami-chwan. He raced up and ripped open the hatch!

"Huh, I found you!"

"Ehhhh?"

"Where's my Nami-chwan?!" He yelled out.

"Last time I saw her, you had her tied up!"

"Where are you hiding her?"

"She's not here! Go look somewhere else!"

Sanji grumbled and began to walk out when he felt a pull on his body.

Oh no.

Zoro apparently felt it too because he took out two swords and rammed them into the floor to stop him from flying into Sanji.

Sanji looked around the room he quickly grabbed onto the ladder coming out of the hatch. No, no, no, no no no no no, NO! He repeated over and over in his head. Like hell was he going to kiss Zoro. He'd rather die.

* * *

"Uhhhh, Robin? What's this weird feeling I'm getting?" Chopper asked from Robin's lap.

Robin leaned down and pecked Choppers cheek.

She then tilted her head to the side and Chopper kissed her cheek in return. He covered his mouth.

"Hey! What was that for? If you think that makes me happy you're wrong, you bastard." Chopper said shifting his weight and blushing.

"Nami stole something that cursed the ship. You weren't here when we were talking about it.

Suddenly the sounds of crashes and screams assaulted their ears.

"What was that?" Chopper asked.

"I assume that was the others getting their kisses. Why don't we go take a look?" Robin asked.

Chopper nodded and they left the room and walked out on the deck.

The sight they beheld looked like an elephant had ridden in on a hurricane and smashed everything. There was vomit everywhere, Franky wasn't wearing anything on his lower half, Nami had a bruised eye, Usopp was trying to console her and Brook was being chased by the mostly naked Franky.

"I'll go help Nami." Chopper said rushing over.

Robin tilted her head and chuckled. "Maybe I should have told them the longer they resist, the worse the kiss."

She shrugged and looked around for Sanji and Zoro; she climbed up to the crow's nest and peeped her head into the room. She saw Zoro and Sanji locked into place. Their bodies were in the air with only their strength of will stopping them from crashing into each other. Robin looked at the time, they must've been holding out for a solid five minutes. They were going to have one hell of a kiss.

They screamed as their muscles tore from the excursion of holding onto their anchors. Zoro his swords and Sanji had appeared to have used to have been holding onto the ladder railing. Robin concluded this from the bloodied claw marks on the ladder. Sanji was now gripping onto one of Zoro's bigger weight sets. But it was only a matter of time; Zoro's swords were slipping as was Sanji's grip.

Robin watched for another five minutes. Maybe she should go down and have a bet with Nami at how long they could hold out.

That's when they both simultaneously lost their grips. They flew at each other with incredible force, it looked like both of them were going to try to kick or slice the other so they wouldn't have to kiss. But unfortunately for them, their efforts were to no avail. They slammed into each other in a long kiss.

They fell backward and snarled at each other whilst wiping their mouths and trying not to vomit.

"You stupid love cook! I told you not to come up here!"

"Nami-chwan was up here!"

"No, she wasn't, baka!"

"I'll kick you to hell!"

"Not if I slice you there first!"

They attacked each other in a violent fashion, whilst still spitting and wiping their mouths. It appeared Zoro had even bit Sanji's lip because there was blood streaming from it.

Robin chuckled as they argued, she was about to leave when Zoro lowered his gaze.

"We speak of this to no one, understood?"

"You don't have to tell me!" Sanji snapped back.

Robin quickly scrambled back down onto the deck before Sanji could see her. She didn't want to injure their pride more than it already was. But she couldn't help but chuckle to herself just a little bit.

* * *

"Guys, come on! Be reasonable. We all stole that chest!" Nami said backing off.

"I had to kiss Franky's bare butt cheek." Brook said with a shudder.

"The end of my nose is sore." Usopp said rubbing the tip of his nose.

"You should have told us about that stupid curse the second you found out about it!" Zoro snarled.

"I forgive you my Nami-chwan!" Sanji said twirling around.

"At least it's over now, which is SUPER!" Franky said striking a pose.

"Actually this will repeat now every night." Robin said.

Everyone froze.

"No way!" Zoro yelled out.

"How do we reverse it?" Sanji snapped, eyeing Zoro.

"Cupid's arrow must be returned to him." Robin answered.

"How do we find him?" Brook asked.

Robin instead of answering pointed up into the sky, where a fat cherub-like man was hovering on tiny pink wings. He had rosy cheeks and a big red bow and quiver; he wore only a white loincloth.

"That is not a pretty sight." Usopp said covering his eyes.

"What! You got a problem with all this?"

"You look like a baby." Franky said.

"Yeah, and you look like a tank had a baby with a child's toy."

Zoro snarled looking up at the fat man.

"Hey don't give me sass, or I'll force you to keep this curse forever."

"No, no, no sir. We're sorry." They all said in unison.

"That's better. Now I'll take off this curse, but I want a kiss from these two pretty ladies." He said wiggling his eyebrows.

Nami gagged. "Like hell!"

"No one kisses my Nami-chwan!" Sanji yelled out.

"Then goodbye then." He said turning around.

"No, wait! You can have a kiss." She grumbled.

The fat man lowered himself onto the Sunny and Nami gave him a quick peck. Then Robin went over and gave him a peck on the cheek.

"And here's your stupid arrow." Nami said handing the object over.

The man smiled and flew away with a flurry.

Nami ran over to the side of the ship and vomited the rest of her stomach contents.

"I wish I hadn't eaten so much."

Sanji looked like he was about to burst a vein. "If that stupid fat man ever comes back here, I'll blast him into oblivion."

Robin patted his shoulder.

"Hey guys, what happened? Is it time for fireworks yet?" Luffy said in a slur, sitting up on top of the figurehead.

Zoro snarled. "Are you kidding? If I had known I could have avoided that kiss by sleeping, I would be snoring like a baby right now!"

"Why, who did you kiss Zoro?" Chopper teased.

Zoro gave him the evil eye. "Never ask me that again, or I'll wring your little neck." He said reaching out to grab him.

"Luffy!" Chopper cried.

"Shishishishi! Sanji can we have more food?"

"Fine, whatever." He said walking into the kitchen.

"Happy New Year." Luffy said with a chuckle.

"It really started off with a bang didn't it?" Robin laughed.

They spent the rest of the night partying and watching fireworks as they enjoyed each other's company, whilst staying quite a fair distance apart.

* * *

 **(A/N) Hope you enjoyed. It's supposed to be just a short comedy, if some bits are confusing I apologise.**

 **All the best for the New Year everyone!**

 **UmbraAurumDragon Out!**


End file.
